The Dad Shift: Sarcasm, Accountability, and Showing Up (Even When You Mess Up) EP 32

Fatherhood doesn’t just add kids—it rewires your brain, your marriage, and the way you make every decision. In today’s episode of The Dad Compass, Dmitry and Patrick get real about the difference between becoming a dad and learning to be one—how sarcasm can tank communication, why accountability beats perfection, and the moments when your kids become your best teachers.

We talk presence over performance, “provider mode” vs. “father mode,” co-parenting realities after divorce, and those gut-check choices (like alcohol around kids and putting the phone down) that define the kind of men—and dads—we’re becoming. If you’ve ever walked back into your kid’s room to apologize, this one’s for you.

👉 If this helped you feel seen, like, subscribe, and drop a comment: What’s one decision you make differently because you’re a dad?

Chapters (timestamps)

00:01 — Cold open & volume jokes
 00:33 — “We don’t have killer intros” (and the comments…)
 01:20 — Becoming Dad vs. Learning to Be Dad
 02:38 — Provider first, father later: the 20s vs. 30s shift
 04:50 — When kids become mirrors (and the “oh no, I’m shaping a human” moment)
 05:27 — The hard part: raising vs. making kids
 07:01 — Custody, boundaries, and choosing to be present
 08:42 — When your kid looks lonely in a full room
 10:32 — Tweens/teens, screens, and short-burst connection
 11:20 — Comfort screens vs. connection attempts
 12:56 — Loving drop-offs, small daily rituals that matter
 15:24 — Sarcasm & communication: how we confuse our kids
 17:53 — Kids dish sarcasm back—where do they learn it?
 18:25 — No handbook dads: learning without a father model
 19:46 — Self-accountability beats the excuses
 21:46 — Teamwork family > solo hero (dream-work mentality)
 22:54 — Sibling bickering vs. the hand-holding moments
 23:44 — Co-parent strengths, accountability vs. nurture
 26:36 — Can dads be “too cold”? Where nurture shows up
 28:34 — Setting the ship early vs. “best friend” parenting
 31:36 — When your kid calls out your delivery (and you tear up)
 32:56 — Fatherhood Unscripted: Dmitry’s story—“You didn’t listen”
35:36 — Owning escalation; repairing with presence
37:40 — “Alone in a full house”: middle-kid honesty
39:32 — 1:1 time, boundaries, and compromise
41:26 — No phones school trip: letting go of control
44:32 — Trusting the process (and teachers have phones)
46:00 — Decisions we make differently because we’re dads
47:24 — Alcohol rules, judgment, and responsibility
48:42 — Superstitions & small rules that keep order
49:05 — Solo adventures vs. choosing family time
51:31 — Advice to pre-dad selves: career, presence, starting earlier
53:26 — Let kids be kids; don’t manage them like employees
58:03 — Recap: love, teach, repair; the journey > destination
1:01:10 — Apologizing like a grown man
1:01:23 — Outro: like, comment, subscribe (and yes, Walter White discourse)